Let's NOT Talk Turkey

The carving. The leftovers. The endless stuffing. Actually, you love the stuffing, cranberries and turkey trimmings. However, it's been seven years and you know your family will throw the turkey out the window if they have to eat the bird one more Christmas (and never mind the lectures about starving children in Ethiopia---or better yet, send them the turkey if you can get it through security.)

The Pilgrims and your third-grade teacher started something by preaching the turkey gospel. But if you didn't have turkey---as your vegetarian friends remind you, it's so much better than Big Macs--- what would you serve?

Some ideas:

* Lasagna---it's always a crowd-pleaser.

* Slice avocadoes and combine with sliced cucumbers, chopped green olives, diced tomatoes, and sliced onions for a winter red/green salad.

* Serve Mexican and have a "Feliz Navidad" party.

* Serve Holiday Noodles---Thai, lo mein, crispy, or egg noodles tossed with scallions and covered with red curry powder or red pepper.

* Get your Omega-3 boost from salmon, made festive with salsa and guacamole toppings.

* Make a "Christmas pizza": green peppers, tomatoes, goat cheese, green olives...let your imagination run wild!

Of course, don't forget the Christmas cookies!

Enjoy the turkey-free healthy and tasty holiday traditions you've created.

About The Author

Copyright Kristin Johnson.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “highly recommended” Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com.

kristin@poemsforyou.com

Use H-O-L-L-Y to Beat Christmas Cooking Stress

What does holly, that untidy traditional greenery you just have to festoon your house with every year, have to do with not tearing your hair out before it's even Thanksgiving? Plenty. You can use H-O-L-L-Y to help you get organized.

1. H: Help

How many times have you tried to do the perfect turkey all by yourself just so your mother-in-law would be impressed? Here's a reality check: (a) If your mother-in-law is any kind of a real woman, she remembers that her mother-in-law put the exact same pressure on her, and (b) if she's the kind of person who complains because the cranberries come from a can, she's the kind of person who complains anyway and would be unhappy if she couldn't try to make you look like an incompetent nitwit, and how a woman like that could raise your wonderful husband is beyond everyone.

If that husband is such a great guy, get him in the kitchen. Sit down and plan what the two of you really want---he might not want a six-course dinner, which is fine, because you don't either. Get the kids involved. By now some of them are at that stage where they want to show off what they can do "all by myself," and you know that even though you hate your daughter's taste in music, she did make killer stuffing last Thanksgiving. And your son makes a great omelet for Christmas morning. Then there's your sister who loves to chat, so put her to work while you listen to her endless monologue.

Electronic help is great too---use a PDA or the family computer to keep a list of recipes and ingredients. There are many great, sometimes free, computer programs available.

2. O: Oh-No

Let's face it. You'll make mistakes. The sugar cookies will burn. You can always "eat" your mistakes and try again---just don't try a new recipe for the first time Christmas Day. In fact, plan for your mistakes. That's right. Most of us spend so much time agonizing over avoiding mistakes we forget that they are going to happen anyway, and not necessarily at our hands. So your best girlfriend Susan brought over deviled ham instead of double chocolate cake...there's a reason we have bakeries, right? Just cheerfully accept the mistake and move on. People can get over a slightly too well-done roast, but they will be downright uncomfortable if you spend the entire dinner moaning about it.

3. L: Love

You know Christmas is the season of love, and you can have as much fun with take-out pizza as you can with an elegant dinner if the company is right. One sure way to recapture love is to bake cookies together. There's nothing like the sight of kids rolling dough and decorating their works of art.

4. L: Let It Be

Sorry for the Paul McCartney overtones, but once you have your plan in place, stick to it---that doesn't mean you can't compromise slightly. Agonizing over turkey versus tofu causes you to lose your appetite, and is as harmful to your cooking as disorganization. Sticking to a decision and keeping your plan, no matter what everyone else thinks, gives you peace of mind.

5. Y: You

Remember that there will be stress around the holidays, but that your mind can choose not to give in. You can choose to refuse another beer because "I'm frazzled" or avoid inviting people you really can't stand just because your mind thinks you have an obligation to be popular and kill yourself feeding 25 people. You can throw snowballs, or, if you live in California, go throw some water on the wildfires...just take your mind off your cooking. You'll rediscover just why it is you're cooking and what you love about Christmas.

So that's your H-O-L-L-Y for a happy holiday. And when all else fails, there's chocolate.

Copyright Kristin Johnson.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “highly recommended” Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com.

kristin@poemsforyou.com

Abundance Affirmations

The abundance affirmation is a powerful tool that you can use to change your life. It is a statement that you are repeating over and over again till it becomes a part of your truth. The abundance affirmation becomes more powerful when it is stated with a feeling behind it. It is not enough to repeat it like a parrot, or on automatic.

The best way of repeating the abundance affirmations is to first bring yourself into a relaxed state of mind, before you start with your affirmations. A simple technique is to sit down in a chair, relax your breathing and close your eyes.

Then start to focus on your own breath by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you breathe in, follow the breath all the way down in your belly, feeling that your belly expands with the in breath. Then breathe out through your mouth. To go deeper into relaxation, open your mouth and make a soft sound of aaahhh, while you breathe out. Do this while you are counting up to ten, and then back to one again, counting one number on each out breath.

Then you are ready to start with your abundance affirmations. Take the sentence you chose and repeat it ten times, one time on each out breath. After you have repeated your sentence, go on with your next one, and do the same for every sentence. Pick only a few sentences to work with till you feel they have become a part of you, and then you can pick new sentences to work with.

After you have done your abundance affirmations session it is important to show your gratitude to Existence (or God) and yourself by saying: "Thank you for making this a part of my life". An affirmation of gratitude is the most powerful abundance affirmation. This is a prayer that works, because you are stating who you are. If you are only repeating what you would like to be true, you may repeat forever without effect.
The effect comes when you allow yourself to believe that what you are stating actually is true. It takes quite some faith to do this, because you are stating a truth about yourself that you cannot see or experience yet. Anyway you will have to gain such clarity and focus, determination and drive, towards what you desire to create with your abundance affirmations, that there is no doubt in you that this will come true.
This is your new reality, and it start with you believing and then seeing and experiencing. Not the other way round, which has been the common standard amongst human beings for a long time: "Let me see it, and I will believe you". You know now that this is not how it works. It works the other way around and it starts with you. With your abundance affirmations you are stating who you are, right now. This is how you create your own reality.

You are doing this all the time on an unconscious level; your thoughts about yourself create who you are. This is the reason that so many things seem to happen to you. You are giving yourself all the time affirmations that you are not conscious about, in the way you are thinking about yourself. Unconscious negative thought patterns create your reality as easy as your conscious positive statements about yourself.
That is why it is important to make your statements in an positive way, with positive words. E.g. "I am not a smoker any more" (which sounds like you would still like to be one!) works with a negative connotation "not". Not rejects a part of yourself and does not include all sides of you. A positive and creative and supportive way of making this statement would be: "I am living a healthy and happy life without cigarettes".

If you are still a smoker and you would like to live a happy life without cigarettes I suggest you to stop. Now! There will never be a right moment other than Now! Then in the next moment you state proudly and to the whole world: "I have stopped smoking and I will never touch a cigarette again, in my whole life! Wow, what a determination and intention behind that statement! You mean business! Do this and stick to it and you will never smoke again.

When you do this abundance affirmations exercise and you set yourself goals and pursue them, you will most probably have all your judgements and negative thoughts coming to the surface. Things like: "Yeah, yeah good luck smart ass" and "You are dreaming, buddy", or: "This is bullshit, it will never work" and similar thoughts are likely to interrupt you trying to make hindrances on the way to riches.

Take a closer look on the second judgement: "You are dreaming, buddy". That one has some truth in it. When a new thought enters your mind, it can feel like a vague dream. You see yourself a place where you really would like to be, and you immediately discern the thought as a dream. By discerning the thought you stop your new thought about yourself from becoming reality. It works in a very simple way: The universe copies your thoughts into reality! Your strongest thought becomes reality; even the underlying ones that you are not aware of will do so. In this way you become what you think. Understand that principle and you’ll be already a good step ahead in changing your reality.
Though, understanding is not enough. You need to take action as well to change. And the most beneficial action you can take is to grow awareness about yourself and your thought patterns. Then you will more easily be able to catch yourself thinking a negative thought or doing a negative action. Negative thoughts look like: "You don't have money so you have no right, who do you think you are?" "Money is bad and filthy any way". "I will never make it to get money together", etc.

When you catch yourself thinking like this, simply change the thought by will. Say to yourself: "Okay, here we go again, the old record is playing again". Accept that this side will always be a part of you, but that now you are going to be in charge of this record player. That means you want to choose what thoughts you are thinking.

This may sound like brainwashing - and that is in fact what it is. You clean out the negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. But don't worry, your negative thoughts will sneak up on you again before you know it, so don't think you are loosing a part of yourself by doing some brainwashing. You are simply gaining control over your own thoughts. Saying a negative sentence about yourself works the same way as thinking a negative thought; it creates your reality even stronger than the thought you had before you spoke it out loud. "I'm broke and I don't know how to get it together this month, I have loads of bills and my job sucks and pays lousy". When you say this loud, the universe copies your statement and that is the reality you are creating.

Still, it is too quick to think that just by you saying: "My job is great and I can pay all my bills easily", things will change instantly for you. This will not be the case. Simply lying about a fact in your life, like having a lot of unpaid bills does not change your situation.

You need to rephrase your statement like: "I am making it my priority to pay my bills this month, because my economic situation is not looking very good right now. I am actively working on changing it, and I am also looking for a better job, while I keep doing the one I have now, the best I can".

Change also your negative thoughts around bills. Bills are blessings! They are a physical proof that someone else trusts your ability to pay! That is more trust than you have in yourself when you think and talk negatively about them. Someone else allows you to buy or do something and says: "You can pay later, we trust you", by sending you a bill! They might not say the words but that is what their action means.

That bills are blessings does not mean that you should collect as many as possible. Rather do it he other way around. Always look for ways to minimize your expenses and learn from other people who manage to pay their bills easily. They are obviously doing something you are not!

As for the statement that your job "sucks", it definitely will not become better from you repeating negative affirmations about it! Think of your job as a springboard, a starting point for the rest of your career. Do your absolute best as long as you are there and see it as a possibility rather than something that holds you back.

What I mean with possibility is that the job covers your day-to-day expenses while you are looking around for new possibilities. While you are in the job, take it on one hundred percent and be fully behind it. Give always a bit more than you get paid for. That is an incredible powerful statement to yourself, your employer and to the universe. Your statement and action says: "I always do my best and that gives me the opportunity to choose exactly what I would like to work with”. That is a real abundance affirmation.

A negative action would be to stay in the job and be resentful about it, blaming the world for giving you such a lousy job. Complaining and blaming others for your own situation is absolutely the best way to stay stuck in it. Simply stop it! Start thinking, talking and acting in a constructive way and you will see your reality changing. May be it will take some time before you get a new job or can pay all your bills easily, but the feeling about the issue will change immediately.

The situation is no longer a huge problem, because you changed your perception about it. In fact your situation is just that: a fact - not a problem. And this fact can change when you understand and apply the laws of creation. Think, talk and act oriented towards solution and your "problem" with money will be solved.

Now, in the meanwhile, your mind probably goes: "It cannot be this easy, I don't believe it". This is okay; you just don't have to listen to it and can decide to become the creator of your life situation instead of the victim of it. By victim I mean a victim of circumstances, seemingly out of your control.

This is a very common perception about life: life just happens to you! And you can do nothing about it! If you recognize yourself here, it is time to look a bit deeper! Deep down in the subconscious, where your statement about the world creates your reality. Saying "Life just happens to me, and I can do nothing about it", gives you not only very little choice, but also gives you the "benefit" of not having to take responsibility for your life.

If you are tired of living like this, then take action. Say to yourself: "I am responsible for my life, and I am going to become the creator of my life, I am no longer a victim". From there on you can start to move into a different and new dimension of your life: the one that you yourself are creating by using abundance affirmations!

A few examples of sentences:
I am ready for abundance
Every day I repeat my Abundance Affirmations!
I am a rich person
I love the energy of money
Money enhances my positive power
I love life
I am a loving person
I am successful and I love it
My life is a success-story
I am a beautiful, loveable human being
I am successful in everything I do
I am willing and daring to go all the way
I will reach my goals, joyfully and easily.
I am always reaching my goals in one way or another
I am joyfully receiving wealth and abundance in my life
I am moving towards money
I am creating money in my life
It is great to have money!
I love my self.
I love all beings on this planet
I am so happy to be alive.
I am creating riches to share with the whole world, because it is my joy to share
Every day and in every way I am getting better and better

Copyright (c) 2005 Oyvind Hennum


About the author:
Oyvind Hennum runs the web site http://www.financial.freedom-made-simple.com

The site contains: Book reviews, articles, biographies, motivational quotes, affirmations, success tests, budgeting advice and practical tips.

Is America Ready for a Low-Carb Spiritu

What's behind the popularity of "The DaVinci Code" and "The Passion"? Are Americans ready for a change in their spiritual diet that will be just as pervasive as the low-carb revolution has been? That is the bold claim of author Phyllis Strupp in her new book, "The Richest of Fare: Seeking Spiritual Security in the Sonoran Desert."

Scottsdale, AZ July 17, 2004 -- "Americans are waking up to the reality that spiritual flab is an even bigger problem today than body fat," she says. "And the 'bad carbs' that need to be curbed are fear, anxiety, greed, guilt, shame, and other negative emotions that threaten spiritual fitness. 'The Richest of Fare: Seeking Spiritual Security in the Sonoran Desert,' helps people to do this."

In this new book, Ms. Strupp makes the case that America is in the midst of an unprecedented spiritual awakening that extends beyond the reach of organized religion. She comments, "We are entering a new era in American spirituality that will have a profound impact on how we live, relate, and work. Our economy, politics, and religion will never be the same. 'The Richest of Fare: Seeking Spiritual Security in the Sonoran Desert,' reveals the silver lining behind the dark clouds of today's world."

L.A. Johnson of the Midwest Book Review writes:

"To paraphrase Thoreau, civilization has improved our houses but not the men who inhabit them. This richest country in the world boasts 44 million uninsured citizens; 10 million illegal immigrants; 9 million unemployed; and 4 million homeless souls. Something is wrong with this picture and Ms. Strupp makes a compelling argument in explanation."
(full review is available on Amazon.com)

Phyllis Strupp holds a B.A in History from Rutgers College, an MBA from Columbia University, and is a mentor of the Education for Ministry program of the University of the South, Sewanee, Tennessee.

After a Roman Catholic upbringing, she shunned organized religion for over 20 years. She has been in the Episcopalian faith community since 1993. She has worked in the financial services industry since 1986. In March 1997, she moved to Carefree, Arizona with her husband Peter after living in Princeton, N.J. for 11 years.

"The Richest of Fare: Seeking Spiritual Security in the Sonoran Desert," blends scientific fact, spiritual truths, and 56 stunning color photographs of the Sonoran Desert. The author has been a guest on several TV and radio programs around the U.S. Book excerpts and reviews can be viewed at: www.desertspirituality.com

To arrange an interview with the author please contact:

Arene Trimble
Sonoran Cross Press
8912 E. Pinnacle Peak Road, Suite 604
Scottsdale, AZ 85255
info@desertspirituality.com
Phone (480) 595-9878

Joel Osteen's Your Best Life Now - Book Review

Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen - Book Review by Mike Matthews
-Rating - 4 out of 5 Stars
-The Best Advice in the book
-Best Prices for the Book, CD and Cassette
-Joel Osteen's 7 steps to your Full Potential
-Critics and Followers
-What I Liked
-What I didn't Like
-Joel Osteen's bio
-On-line Streaming Videos, Interviews and the Blog
-Your Best Life Now - Why you should buy it today

To get the full impact of this book, Your Best Life Now, I recommend that you see one of Joel's sermons. Did you know he has one of the largest congregations in the U.S? Did you know he didn't want to become a minister because he didn't think he could effectively talk in front of large audiences? If you've never seen him preach, you're in for a treat - take some time and:
-Watch one of his TV broadcasts at http://www.joelosteen.com
-Check out one of his on-line streaming videos
-Visit the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas

Joel Osteen's ability to deliver a message is a gift and he uses all his talent to deliver his message. His smiling face, his accent, his stage presence, his sincerity, his analogies to real-life situations and his enthusiasm are just a few ways that Joel captures your attention for the 30-60 minute talks. Listen to Joel at least once before you read his book, Your Best Life Now. As you read, you will easily visualize him up on the stage in front of you as he personally reads you the book. His writing style mirrors his Sunday morning messages and you'll find the same enthusiasm while reading this book

Rating - 4 of 5 Stars
Overall, Your Best Life Now is a very good motivational book. Many chapters will hit you directly with a positive force, while others will cause you to ask "...why did he include this in book...". I would have rated this a 5, but there were a few conflicting points in the book and there were a few times he strayed from the topic of living to your full potential.

One of the best points is Joel's discussion about making time to focus on your pursuit of true goals, instead of crowding your day with mundane tasks and other people's priorities. Losing focus on the important goals is so easy to do and his thoughts on this subject are well written in the book. One of points that I found difficult to accept is, trusting God to bring justice into your life. In my opinion, this belief is too simplified and naive.

Even though I am not a strong religious person, Your Best Life Now contains more good points than 'not so good' points and for that, it is a must read. His enthusiasm will help motivate you to improve your life and to improve the life of others. If you want to listen to him read the book, then consider ordering the CD version or cassette version of Joel Osteen's book, Your Best Life Now. Check out the best prices at http://www.your-key-to-success.com/yourbestlifenow.html.

The Best Advice - Enlarge Your Vision
Joel starts with a great analogy about a gorgeous house in Hawaii that a vacationing friend was admiring. The friend's comment was something like "I can't imagine ever living in a place like that." In the book, Joel states it well with one of his many quotes; "We have to (first) conceive it on the inside before we're going to receive on the outside." You need to change your mindset and first, imagine yourself living in that fabulous house. Your Best Life Now discusses the need to create a larger vision for your life and your personal goals. He also mentions the need to avoid getting stuck in a rut and you'll see more successes with your relationships, personal finances, health, etc. Joel also proceeds to tell us that God expects much more from all of us and settling for a small vision is not what God or others expect.

Personal Commentary
Do you think Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, Warren Buffet - had small visions? Absolutely Not! Every successful person starts with a great vision of possibilities. They were not born with a set of grandiose goals and a lifetime vision. Their goals and vision were developed over time and became a focal point later. You too can create a vision, make it your personal focal point and use it as your driving force to succeed with your personal goals. You can check out some other great motivational secrets and articles at http://www.your-key-to-success.com/index_articles.html. End of personal commentary.

Best Prices for the 'Your Best Life Now' book, CD and cassette version
I've found the best pricing and availability for this book, CD and cassette on Amazon.com, Booksamillion.com or Simplyaudiobooks.com. Other sites such as ebay and Joel Osteen's site also have this book, but I've always had good better experiences at Amazon.com. Your Best Life Now can be purchased as a book, CD or cassette version. Prices range from only $12 to $18 and you can get a direct link to those prices at http://www.your-key-to-success.com/yourbestlifenow.html#bestprices

The 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential
Enlarge Your Vision - (in my opinion, the best advice)
Develop a Healthy Self Image
Discover the Power of your Thoughts
Let Go of the Past
Find Strength through Adversity - (another good chapter)
Live to Give - ('Give some, Receive More' would have been a better title)
Choose to be Happy - (Personally trying to make some changes with this one)

Critics and Followers
On a blog I created specifically for this book (http://yourbestlifenowreview.blogspot.com), I've listed some links to other web sites that contain reviews, testimonials and other personal thoughts about Joel Osteen, the Lakewood Church and his new book, Your Best Life Now. There seems to be two extreme views that range from "Best person that touched my life" to "His use of 'God' to increase his personal wealth is not the Christian Way". After viewing about 50 of these comments, it's about a 25 to 1 ratio in favor of Joel, his teaching methods and his new book, Your Best Life Now. You can check out the full range by going to this blog at http://yourbestlifenowreview.blogspot.com.

Here are a few quotes from the Followers:
Chuck Norris, Actor - "As I was growing up, my mother taught be two essential principles for success: trust in God, and look for the best in people. Today, my wife, Gena, and I benefit greatly from Joel Osteen's similar positive messages of hope and encouragement."

Rudy Tomjanovich, coach, Los Angeles Lakers - "Joel has the unique ability to communicate the most complex spiritual principles in simple everyday language. He will motivate and inspire you to live a life of excellence and to fulfill your God-given destiny.

What I Liked
Enlarge your Vision is by far the most important point in his book. Without a big vision, you can't expect big things to occur your life.

Finding Strength through Adversity is another great perspective and realization. If we all lived without challenges, we'd never reach our potential. Some of toughest challenges can be both what is given to us as well as what we give to ourselves. One of his quotes sums it up well, "…turning your challenges into stepping stones for promotion…".

Choose to be Happy is a great way for Joel to end his book, Your Best Life Now. Smile more often, show enthusiasm and make the choice to be happy. It is your choice, no matter the circumstance, to be happy.

What I didn't Like
Chapter 22, Trusting God's Timing is personally difficult for me to absorb. Often, I will hear the phrase, "I'm going to pray for the (solution)." It is my opinion that praying may be a positive step for you in finding a solution and it may give you a sense of possibility, but it can't be the answer. Joel's comment to trust God's timing might lead some to simply give up and let God handle it. I believe you need to take some specific actions to get a solution & I don't think only praying, will get you a solution. In another section of his book, he states that perseverance is important in living to your full potential and getting all those things that you create in your vision.

Joel Osteen's Bio
Joel Osteen is the senior pastor of the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. An unbelievable 30,000 members listen to Joel each week and millions more watch him deliver his messages on national TV. Joel lives in Houston with his wife, Victoria, and their two children, Jonathan and Alexandra. Joel's book, Your Best Life Now has been #1 on the New York Times bestseller list and has sold over 1,000,000 copies. Joel started the television outreach ministry with his father and remained behind the scenes, until his father passed away. He dedicated this book, Your Best Life Now to his father, John Osteen (1929-1999),

On-line Streaming Video, Interviews, Quotes and a Blog dedicated to the Book
Check out some of his most recent messages at his web site, http://www.joelosteen.com. (You may need to register to view).

Read the interview with Laura Sheahen or Bill O'Reilly at the blog site listed below.

I created a specific Blog to post as much as I could about Joel Osteen and his new book, Your Best Life Now, both the good and the 'not so good'. Take a peek at the Blog, you'll enjoy the interesting facts, interviews and personal comments.

Your Best Life Now - Why you should buy it today.
Here are a few quotes from his book:
"You must conceive it in your heart and mind before you can receive it" (Enlarge Your Vision)
"Don't worry about things you can't change" (Happiness is a Choice)
“It's in the tough times of life that we find out what we're really made of" (The Purpose of Trials)
"It's time to think about what you're thinking about" (Choosing the Right Thoughts)
Joel does a great job in enthusiastically conveying his ideas and principles with the reader. His use of humor, sincerity and analogies make the book both easy and inspiring to read. (It was tough to put down).

"Dreams will determine what you want in life,
Actions will determine what you get in life.”

Do you truly have a desire to make your life better, do you just think about it and never take action? If you don't get this book, you'll miss out on hearing the message of one of the great motivational leaders of our time. Today is that day to take action, and buy Joel Osteen's, Your Best Life Now! For less than $12 (the cost of one dinner) is a small price to get the advice of one today's top speakers. Remember to check out a direct to the best prices at this link, http://www.your-key-to-success.com/yourbestlifenow.html#bestprices.

End of Product Review by Mike Matthews

About the Author

Mike Matthews is a writer for http://www.Your-Key-to-Success.com with many personal successes in the areas of personal finance, small business, real estate investments and reaching fitness goals.

Someone I Love Died By Suicide

Someone I Love Died By Suicide
by Doreen Cammarata

This month marks the "National Suicide Survivor Day". November 17, 2001 is set aside to recognize all those who have endured the grief surrounding the suicide of a loved one. I would like to dedicate my first column to my mom. November 14th was her birthday and she died by suicide 15 years ago.

As a survivor myself, I reflect upon how much my life has changed and developed since my mom's death. An adolescent when her death occurred, my life was ultimately shaped into becoming a resource and support for individuals challenged by depression, suicide, grief and various types ofloss.

In my training as a counselor I focused on my own personal and professional growth in the field of grief counseling. I learned that education is a reciprocal process. My greatest teachers have been the numerous students that I worked with in an alternative high school dropout retrieval program as well as the many young children I worked with at a local hospice program. While teaching at a university I am fortunate to have been touched by so many caring professional counselors, nurses and social workers who have attended my classes as well as by the resourceful professors who gave me my foundation of training.

During this specific time of recognition for suicide survivors, conferences will meet throughout the country to educate and bring survivors together. You can access a "Live Webcast" on Saturday, November 17th from noon to 1:30p.m. by visiting the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention website: www.afsp.org. This organization provides research, bibliographies, updated articles and much more. For more information you can contact them directly at (212) 363-3500.

In my work facilitating suicide support groups I encourage survivors to share what they find as the key differences in grieving a suicide. Most survivors express intensified shock, anger and guilt in coping with the death of their special person.

I could identify with these feelings. Although I was only 17 when my mom died by suicide, I experienced extreme guilt in my grief. I believed that "if only" I had done something different, I could have saved her. I eventually came to terms with the fact that there was nothing I could have done to stop what had occurred. Like many survivors I too beat myself up with the "what if's" for quite some time.

Not all survivors experience guilt and anger but that tends to be a prominent theme for most. Anger can be felt in various ways. It is commonly directed at the individual who died. When in touch with this type of anger, many survivors tend to reflect on the struggles their loved one endured and then ultimately feel guilt ridden once again. For some, anger is directed at surviving loved ones in a blaming fashion. Encouraging survivors to express their anger as well as their other feelings in a therapeutic environment will have positive long-term effects.

It is crucial to be aware of the accentuated duration and intensity of grief following a suicide. Most individuals take years to recover from the devastation of this event. It is estimated that someone grieving a sudden loss will take three times the average amount of time to heal from the death. Being sensitive to the amount of time and the extreme emotions that a survivor will feel during his grief is one way that you can assist in the healing process. Another way to help a survivor is by allowing him to tell and retell the specifics surrounding the death.

Depending on the relationship between the survivor and deceased, the death may alter the existing person's life in numerous ways. If the survivor is a child, there most likely will be vast differences in the way he experiences life following the death. For an adult, specifically a spouse, adapting to an entirely new role is only one of the many challenges that widowhood will bring. No matter what the age of the survivor there is a forced new way of life. The grieving individual will now adapt a whole new perception of what his world will be as well as his trust in the natural progression of life.

When informing loved one's about the death, honesty is best. Small lies only become larger lies. A survivor spared the truth to be protected will end up re-grieving the death of their loved one when the truth is unfolded. This can occur even many years after the actual date of the death. Remember to always disclose age appropriate details after carefully determining the maturation of the survivor. However, know the consequences of dishonesty and consult with trained professional in communicating the truth.

Validating and commemorating the life of a loved one is extremely beneficial in the healing process. Apparent simplistic gestures like planting a tree or creating a memory box can be quite empowering. As a personal way of validating my mother's life as well as her death, I created "Someone I Love Died By Suicide: A story for child survivors and those who care for them." I designed this book after years of research and working in the field. It is appropriate for all ages and is the only book available to read directly with children survivors. More information is available about my book on my website: http://www.griefguidance.com.

In closing, I share my knowledge and my book with you as a way of trying to reach all those who have been devastated by the suicide of a loved one. Please join me and take this opportunity to recognize the numerous suicide survivors in our communities.

Read The Book Review Here ..

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"Someone I Love Died by Suicide: A story for child survivors and those who care for them". This book is one of only a few books available today that is specifically designed to be read to children survivors.

About The Author...
Doreen T. Cammarata, MS, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, is currently an adjunct instructor at Florida Atlantic University educating graduate students and professionals on grief counseling issues. She has had eight years of university experience as an assistant instructor in addition to her full time work experiences as a school counselor for at-risk youth and as a grief and bereavement specialist working with adults and children at a local hospice program. She is also on the board and serves as the Program Chairperson for the Palm Beach County, Florida ADEC Chapter.

An equally important credential is that Doreen Cammarata is a suicide survivor. Doreen’s mother suffered from depression. During Doreen’s adolescence, her mother died by suicide. Consequently, Doreen understands personally as well as professionally the need to address this issue. Visit her site. http://www.griefguidance.com

READ MORE HERE:
http://joanbramsch.com/counseling/suicide.shtml

About the Author

JOAN BRAMSCH is a family person, educator, writer and E-publisher. Her articles appear internationally in print and online. Six of her best-selling adult novels - near one million copies - have worldwide distribution. Her
Empowered Parenting Ezine serves 1000 parents around the globe.
http://www.JoanBramsch.com mailto:hijoan@joanbramsch.com

Taking Back Christmas

John Grisham wrote a book called SKIPPING CHRISTMAS. Amazon.com reports: “John Grisham turns a satirical eye on the overblown ritual of the festive holiday season, and the result is Skipping Christmas, a modest but funny novel about the tyranny of December 25. Grisham's story revolves around a typical middle-aged American couple, Luther and Nora Krank. On the first Sunday after Thanksgiving they wave their daughter Blair off to Peru to work for the Peace Corps, and they suddenly realize that ‘for the first time in her young and sheltered life Blair would spend Christmas away from home.’ “Luther Krank sees his daughter's Christmas absence as an opportunity. He estimates that ‘a year earlier, the Luther Krank family had spent $6,100 on Christmas,’ and have ‘precious little to show for it.’ So he makes an executive decision, telling his wife, friends, and neighbors that ‘we won't do Christmas.’ Instead, Luther books a 10-day Caribbean cruise. But things start to turn nasty when horrified neighbors get wind of the Krank's subversive scheme and besiege the couple with questions about their decision.” My friend Dessa Byrd Reed, author of the poetry books THE BUTTERFLY TOUCH and SEVEN BRIDGES, prefers nontraditional holidays. She wrote in THE DESERT WOMAN that as a widow she often spends time with friends over the holidays, take trips, or simply goes out to eat on Christmas (not necessarily turkey). It’s easy to see why, especially if you grew up with traditional Christmas expectations of warmth, family, and usually, expressions of faith. Christmas is under attack in this country. I think it was my high school AP Government class that asked us about cases involving removing Nativity scenes from public places. At the risk of revealing my ripe old age of 32, that was in 1990.

First we had the trend of saying Xmas for Christmas. Then Christmas sales started way back before Halloween. Now, the holiday season is more about parties, overeating and drinking, and commercialism than expressing spirituality, in particular and especially the Christian faith.

The secularists don’t much like church, whether because of parents who used religion as an excuse for too-strict disciplines (or hatred and prejudice), drug trips in the ‘60s, or the frequent systematic oppression of women and minorities (never mind that Christ welcomed everyone). This secularist attitude got wonderful treatment in a recent episode of "Jack & Bobby" co-created by Brad Meltzer, bestselling author and a friend.

When we try to kick Christ out of a holiday named for Him, our society has a problem.

What's been the result of using the euphemism “holiday” and banning the Nativity? Congress may not be making any law about the free expression of religion, but the elite brain trust is acting like the Church of England kicking out the Puritans. What’s the result? Clashes over religion. Holiday depression. Loneliness around the holidays, especially in nursing homes. Suicide.

What's lost among the way? The spirit of giving. Warmth and compassion. Communion with family, friends and neighbors. And yes, that pesky expression of faith the secularists on the far left moan about. Ever notice that when it comes to their free expression of faith or lack thereof, they scream “racism” or “[fill in the blank] phobia” whenever Bill O’Reilly or anyone for that matter dares to pray or remind them that there is a God beyond their ideology? They accuse Christians of proselytizing but don’t hesitate to lecture on what is and what is not offensive today. President George Bush is mocked for his faith, and Senator John Kerry, a Roman Catholic, seems to have his usual difficulty sticking to a point on thorny social issues. No wonder the conventional wisdom was always not to discuss religion and politics, and for whatever God’s sake, don’t mix the two (even though it happens time and again), and let’s just all get along and sing carols at Christmas.

It seems that people are rebelling. The success of "Passion of the Christ," the Da Vinci Code and the Left Behind Series, as well as “Joan of Arcadia,” “7th Heaven,” and “Touched by an Angel” indicates a movement in popular culture.

Instead of skipping Christmas, let’s take back Christmas in our homes and families. Unless your family members and friends are Orthodox Jews or Muslims, you can celebrate Christmas with them. After all, Judaism and Islam recognize Jesus Christ as a prophet. Every religion celebrates the spirit of giving, from Kabbalah to Hinduism. We all agree we have too much stuff, too much food (as our overweight society proves), too much alcohol, too little kindness, patience and respect. We all want connection, love, belonging, and a place in the manger.

Top ten tips for taking back Christmas:

1) Make homemade gifts. Skip the malls. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart to give something from the heart. 2) Invite friends or relatives to dinner instead of trying to give expensive gifts that no one uses anyway. 3) Don’t roll your eyes when someone says, “Peace on earth, goodwill toward men.” And for Goddess’ sake, don’t use the “men” part to launch an anti-male rant. 4) Whatever your faith, speak up and say that Christian-bashing (or bashing of any kind) offends you, especially around the Christmas season. 5) Get together with friends and family and make care packages for homeless shelters, nursing homes, etc. Make that your gift to each other. 6) Call those friends or relatives you usually avoid talking to. Hearing about your old college roommate’s third marriage might not thrill you, especially since you can’t get a word in edgewise, but it’s a good way to give of your time, something we all feel we don’t have enough of but make for friends anyway. 7) If you’re just dying to cook that turkey dinner but your parents or mother-in-law insist on doing it THEIR way, give in. This is not a “me me me” time. 8) Rent or watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” Linus’ recitation of the Bible and the gang’s rendition of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” could make even Scrooge smile. And even Lucy van Pelt admits, “Charlie Brown is a blockhead, but he did get a nice tree.” 9) Take quiet time to think, meditate, and yes, pray. Consider it the mental vacation to Tahiti you can’t take because the family has camped out at your house. 10) Appreciate your children’s gifts, especially the homemade macaroni ornaments. The first gift of Christmas was a child.

We’ve taken back our streets. We’ve taken back the night. Let’s all take back Christmas, and we won’t have to skip it. But if you do feel like skipping Christmas to restore your faith, do it. The gift of one less stressed grumpy person around the holidays is priceless.

Copyright Kristin Johnson.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “highly recommended” Midwest Book Review pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Making Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia kit is available at our Web site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (info@tyrpublishing.com) to receive a printed media kit and sample copy of the book. More articles available at http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com.

kristin@poemsforyou.com

The underlying belief system

Many of us do not consider the underlying belief system about money to be of any importance. You think it does not matter, because what matters is what you do now. Right, at one level, but not complete. All ideas that we have learned about money in the past are colouring our actions today.
These are ideas that you are unconsciously following, because you are not aware of them. It might be: "money is bad", "there is never enough money", "money does not grow on trees", etc. The list is long and painful to read, when you realize that this is actually a part of you. I was thinking: how come these beliefs are so strong? Why am I blocking myself from financial freedom? I have been working on myself for 6 years now, and the beliefs are still there! So I went looking for answers in self help books, personal development books, New Age books and financial freedom articles etc. I have also done Psychokineseology, past life sessions and been talking to a lot of people.
The answer that I come up with so far is: the underlying beliefs are coming in as all other conditioning, from our early years. Some people suggest that also past life experiences can have an influence. Our childhood conditioning comes mainly from our parents and then the rest of our family, and also from the environment around us. If the idea in the place you grew up is that money is scarce, you can be sure that this idea sneaked into your mind somewhere along the line and it is probably stuck there without you knowing it. You are just wondering why there never seems to be enough money around.
So if you now can grasp the idea of negative thinking patterns about money, I will tell you to move on. If it is difficult for you to accept this idea and you are now thinking that this does not count for you, because you have learned positive thinking, then stop. Look at the reality and do a little check up: is my positive thinking really working?
I am asking you to do this because my experience is that positive thinking and a YES! Mentality not always is enough. The negative thought patterns I am talking about are deep, you can call them "root thought" or "sponsoring thought", it is thoughts that are lying underneath and behind your conscious thoughts that you are thinking on an everyday basis.
They are very strong and strong enough to sabotage your new way of thinking that might be very positive and good. I point this out very strongly, because it is important that you are willing to look at your own thoughts and to work on them to change them into healthy sponsoring thoughts that are healthy for you and will bring you abundance and wealth instead of struggle and suffering.
To change these thoughts you have to be persistent, you will need a burning desire to train your mind into thinking differently. You will have to do a little brainwash and afterwards a lot of re-learning with your new and healthy thoughts. To train your mind
I will explain to you the concept "Act as if". "Act as if" works the other way round of the normal creation process, which goes like this: thought, word ,deed (action). An idea comes into your mind as a thought and takes shape and gets clear, that is the first step in creating.
Then comes the next step, which is the word. In the gospel of St.John in the Bible: "In the beginning was only the word", there is a great truth, only that in the very, very beginning there was also a thought - an idea. The word gets spoken out or written and makes the idea more strong, more solid. This is already a big accomplishment in the creation process, but the idea is still not physical reality.
This comes in the third step "Deed", or the action that you do, to give your idea physical form. Take a look at this practical example: I had an idea long time ago that it would be great to have a practical “how to do guide” on how to create financial freedom; initially I had the idea because many of my friends and people I met where complaining over the lack of money to do what they want.
As I talked with them it seemed that the reasons for these problems often were similar and I had a feeling that there had to be a solution for this. I wanted to find the solutions (ideas, thoughts, step one), write them down, make them clear and easy to understand, when spoken in a seminar or written down (word - step two) and then in the end to make this article and make it available for everyone who would be interested (deed, action, step 3).
As you are now reading this article, you can see the practical result of the thought - word - deed -process unfolded straight in front of you! Going back to where we started, with the concept of "Act as if", we have to look at why and how to do it. Why? It is because the process of creation does not only work with the conscious thoughts you have, but also with your sub-conscious beliefs. So if your underlying belief system always tells you that there is not enough money that is the reality you create.
To train your sub-conscious to think differently, you first of all have to become aware of when these beliefs kick in. For me it works like this: There is a Salvation Army officer standing in the street, giving out their magazine and collecting money. When I see him I immediately shrink and think: I hope he does not see me.
Now, of course, he sees me and gives me a smile, and I think, okay, I'll give him some money. After all I know that this makes me feel good. Then, for the same reason that I tried to avoid him, I also start having second thoughts about giving him the small donation.
The thought goes like this: I don't want to give away the money, because if I do, then I will have less and I do not have much at all. How can I just give away the little that I have (root thought = it's never enough money). In short term thinking it is right, I will have less money if I give some of it away. In longer term thinking, not.
What I do when I walk pass the Salvation Army officer without giving any money is to re-affirm to myself the idea that I can not afford to give him money, because there is never enough. So what I can do to change this root thought is to first give him the money I thought of, I know it is going to make me feel good, and then think to myself: WOW! I can afford to give him money, I know that there is more where it is coming from and I trust that this will end up in my pocket and on my bank account, so I can happily share it with more people.
This action will then affirm your new thought which is: There is always enough money! Now you might think, this is a lie, but then take the new thought you have learned by "acting as if" and look again on the thought, word , deed process. You might think this is extremely difficult and everything inside of you says NO! But still, try it out.
You do not have to give away all your money, that is not the point. The point is that you give yourself the feeling of abundance and that you can share. If you have very little money, you can give according to that. It is important that you get the feeling, so you can start believing in your new thought.
When you say to yourself that you always have enough money for everything you want and need, you will protest and say: "This is not true, fact is this, and that and blah, blah." You are right! Fact may be this or that, but if you want to change you better start here, right at the root cause of your money problems.
This is a little bit of "Fake it till you make it". You can make it easier for yourself by thinking thoughts that you can accept, like:" I know there is more money out there and right now I am figuring out how to get it to flow into my bank account".
Then you give yourself a feeling of security and that it is actually true: there is enough money! When you get your head around this one, you are a giant leap further ahead on the road to financial freedom.

Copyright (c) 2005 Oyvind Hennum

About the Author

Oyvind Hennum runs the web site http://www.financial-freedom-made-simple.com

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